Post by devlin james christof on Mar 17, 2013 6:20:03 GMT -5
devlin james christof
"can't you see there is no logic to love? and we're lost just like the stars up above"
fighting back the tears, mother reads the
NAME devlin james christof
GENDER male
NICKNAMES dev
AGE thirty two
MEMBERGROUP local
YEAR/OCCUPATION manager of commerce casino
SEXUALITY heterosexual
PLAYED BY johnny knoxville
note again. sixteen candles burn in her mind,
HI I'M DEVLIN AND THIS IS ME:
INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT FOR LOCAL NEWSPAPER
NOW THAT WE KNOW YOUR NAME, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD PREFER TO BE CALLED?
"i mean, devlin's cool with me. but if you're feeling extra friendly, 'dev' will do. [shrugs and smiles]"
I HAVE TO ASK: MALE, FEMALE, OR SOMETHING IN BETWEEN?
"[raises a brow] if it wasn't obvious enough, i'm definitely male. [chuckles] there's a number of lovely ladies who could tell you that."
GOOD, I WAS STARTING TO WORRY. NOW, HOW OLD ARE YOU EXACTLY? AND WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?
"the wrong side of twenty one, man. [laughs] nah, i'm sittin' pretty at thirty two. [scratches the back of his head] i'll take your shock as a compliment, doll. youthful good looks do run in the family, i've got to admit. my papa doesn't look a day over fifty."
DON'T MEAN TO BE A PEST BUT, HOW TALL ARE YOU EXACTLY?
"how tall? uh, last time i measured i think i was.. six two? let's say six two. [nods]"
HOW DO YOU ENJOY MANAGING THE CASINO?
"i love my job at the casino. i meet so many new people on a day to day basis, we get a lot of celebrities come through the high rollers too which is always great. it's a fun time, that's for sure."
I WOULD NEVER HAVE CONSIDERED THAT GEORGE CLOONEY MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
"that guy's gay? [leans back] shit. oh wait, am i allowed to cuss? [chuckles] okay good. and me? i am straight as can be, baby. [smacks gum and raises eyebrows] look at you! getting all red. [looks behind him and points] ricky, look at her gettin' all red!"
YOU MUST THINK I'M CRAZY. OH WELL, SAY, WHAT KIND OF QUALITIES DO YOU LIKE IN A SPOUSE?
"a spouse? i'm probably not too clear on that seeing as [mumbles] myfirstmarriagefailed. [clears throat] but! regardless, i guess i'm looking for a woman who's just genuine. don't care about my money, don't care about my job, who just likes me for me, you know? preferably a pretty one. that's always fun."
OH, I GUESS I'M NOT YOUR TYPE THEN, EH? WELL, WHAT DO YOU FIND UNATTRACTIVE IN A PERSON?
"ahaw, darling don't put yourself down like that. [shrugs] being selfish is a massive turnoff. also when girls think they have to act like idiots to get a man to be interested in them.[cringes] oh god, that nasally high voice some of them do, jeeehuhusus christ. nails down a chalkboard, man. nails down a chalkboard."
FINE, BE LIKE THAT. I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYWAYS.
"nonono, darling i wasn't implying you were- [sighs and grins, shaking his head] you're a piece of work."
OK, WE'RE GONNA PLAY A GAME. I'M GOING TO ASK SOME SIMPLE QUESTIONS, AND YOUR GOING TO SAY THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND, OK?
"alright, let's do it."
FAVORITE FOOD?
"pizza. and more pizza. and christ i'm hungry now. hope you're happy."
FAVORITE MOVIE?
"[laughs] stepbrothers."
FAVORITE BAND/ARTIST?
"don't mind a bit of papa roach, turbonegro, billy idol. yes i said billy idol. [shrugs] i'm an eighties kid, get off it. [smirks]"
FAVORITE DRINK?
"jack and coke, buddy. oh other than alcohol? just coke then, i suppose."
FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?
"i liked english. but that's cause my teacher was hot. [chuckles and shrugs] what? i was like fifteen. i was really good at accounting, though."
FAVORITE TV SHOW?
"i usually watch tv shows online, but uh- i really like that one with the english teenagers. [turns around] ricky what's it called? you know the one, with the kids and they- misfits! that's it. i like misfits."
FAVORITE WORD?
"... antidisestablishmentarianism."
she take the blame, it's always the same.
YOUR NAME jacq.
SOMETHING AWESOME
she goes down on her knees and prays
